between down&upstairs

Downstairs... Thinking around a painful idea... That's not my place...no doubt I'm in the wrong home now..!! Opening the lock of the building in a nervous way& imagine my right place which I should be in..!!

Walk in a dark street not afraid from anything & acting like you can hear me... See me... run from me& I run after you& after I catch you...I look directly into your laughing eyes...They were really laugh...Really dreamy& sooooooo beautiful………I love them….

Feel like in jail ….my head is a jail &my small brain is the biggest jail….small animal runs fast in front of me… it's just like a rat…but it's taller with a flexible body seems to have no bones…a white cat looks to it then obeys the sexual call coming from another one….!!

Buying a daily newspaper for my father& a cultural one for me….on return I opened mine to find the first big title I read is "life is a big lie"….!!

Every man I saw now whatever he do doesn't make sense for me …..They all are trains of sheep... I saw the small animal again……!!
Approaching home& think what really preventing me from being in the right place... Between your arms... Fuken distance... Fuken time…fuken money…fuken nothing..!!

Upstairs…I need to concentrate to write a little in my novel …open the door to find my dear father listening to a magical Egyptian music lying on the cough…. Without looking to me he raised his hand taking his newspaper….read….listen…think….and smokes a local cigarette ….that's my father….a multi man…!!

I entered my room ….writing about you…to you& for you…!! Writing by right hand while the left one is vibrating ….I don’t know why ??